Monday, February 9, 2015

Feeling CRAZY Taking it one day at a Time

   My sweetheart has lost eight pounds since we started this health plan together. He is on a more aggressive plan than I am on though. I have to be careful about cutting to many calories since I am still nursing the baby. I have no idea if I have lost weight in the last four days.  I refuse to step on the scale at all until I reach a week. Stepping on the scale can be a hazardous practice for me if done to frequently. I am going to weigh in on a weekly basis.  The differences I have noticed so far though include a little bit of energy and an intense pain in my upper body. I lifted weights on Friday with the hubby,  and had to get his help undressing and dressing for the next 24 hours after that. 
He was really encouraging. Laughing a little with me over my pain, but also reminding me that the pain meant that my muscles were activating and coming to life. Doing the job they are supposed to do.

   I am feeling a little anxious and overwhelmed when I begin to think of all the work I have to do before we move next month. The amount of junk we have just boggles my mind. I'm tempted to just close my eyes and pitch it all in the dumpster, but I fear that I might throw out something we actually need. On top of that I have chores that must be done daily, homeschooling for the kids, in addition to the things that my sweet little squirts demand outside the normal feeding, bathing, and dressing. I have found myself to be rather cranky. I know that there are lots of people with a busy, more hectic, more demanding schedule than what I have right now, but I was never the kind of gal to rejoice over other people's dilemmas and feel better over my own lot in life. So I am trying to take deep breaths when I want to cry, to call someone when I feel too lonely or overwhelmed, and make sure that I get a couple minutes to myself to read a book I really want to finish. I am also trying to take the mess, and the organizing and the de-cluttering, and the homeschooling, and the terror of leaving a place and friends I have loved for the unknown one day at a time.

   I have to believe that I am going to make it in one piece. Perhaps a different and more beautiful shape when I am through this, but all together a whole and healthy person body and soul. It's days like today when the baby refuses to nap and kids are driving me crazy that I really have to hope that crazy isn't such a bad thing to be.

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